


The emotional struggles

by Wickfur



Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Detectives, Disability, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Kaitou KID - Freeform, Kid - Freeform, M/M, Shounen-ai, Yaoi, kaishin - Freeform, kaito kid - Freeform, multi-chaptered, phantom thief, shinkai, wickfur
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-03-09 02:14:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13471530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wickfur/pseuds/Wickfur
Summary: Shinichi as Conan realized his feelings for the white clad thief smack in the middle of planning for the Black Organization take down, after everything is over and Shinichi gets the antidote, they start dating and move to an apartment together. Everything is perfect, but soon a life changing injury derails everything. KaiShin. AU. Crossposted on FF.





	The emotional struggles

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Detective Conan or Magic Kaito.
> 
> . .
> 
> strange words marked with star* are words that might need clarification and will be described at the bottom of each chapter.
> 
> 'this is Shinichi narrating' or 'thinking'
> 
> Normal storytelling text
> 
> "talking"

**Ch.1 - The beginning**

Somewhere in Tokyo, in the living room of an apartment stands a group of people. In the back of the room stands a brown haired woman and two men one with black hair and one blond, all of them with horror in their eyes, horror that stems from different reasons. On the other side of the room stands seven police officers with grave but curious faces, behind them in the corner of the room, there is a corpse of a blond short haired woman, blood pooled around her because of a knife wound to her stomach, a bloody kitchen knife at her side.

Now, you must imagine that all the attention in the room would be at said woman's corpse, fortunately or unfortunately for some, it is not. All the attention is on the young man in a wheelchair in the middle of the room, he slowly but surely lay out his deductions and evidence to convict said victim's murderer.

He slowly points to one of the men standing opposite him and says loudly,

"The murderer is YOU, Koharu Tanaka-san!"

The black haired man finches and gets enraged "what the hell are you saying!? It could have been anyone in this apartment complex! Why would it be me, I don't even know the blond haired woman!"

The brown haired woman beside him, turn to the black haired man at his outburst, looking at him with incredulous eyes. "what do you mean you don't know her!" she says angrily "I have seen you several times talking to her! Don't you say you don't know her when you have been standing kissing her goodbye outside her apartment door quite a few times the last four months!" she pokes him in the chest several times during her statement. "wasn't she your girlfriend?!" she continues.

The man looks at her with contempt and confusion "I don't know that dead woman!" he screeched "Don't listen to this deranged woman, she is a compulsive liar!" stated the man. "what!" she shrieked "I am not a compulsive liar! I know what I saw, if anyone is lying it's you!" she said while she pushed his shoulder with anger, all the while the other man slowly backed away from the bickering pair.

The officers approached them warily, to try and placate the angry pair, trying to calm them down.

The wheelchair bound young man just sighs, then he turns to the female officer, named Sato and states an idea that he would like to try. She nods in agreement at his deduction and takes off her purple jacket, puts on a scarf and puts up her short hair in a small ponytail. She then approach the angry bickering man in a different manner from how she acts normally. The other officers just stares as the usually confident Sato, walks towards the man, in a way that makes her look meek and vulnerable.

She taps the angry man on his shoulder lightly for his attention, the man quickly turned to her with an angry "What!" Sato mock flinches at his tone, then the man narrows his eyes at her and, to the confusion of everyone in the room, he states in a confused tone "Have I meet you before? How long have you been here lady?" everyone just stares.

The bickering woman stops trying to get the accused man's attention at his statement and everyone else stares, while the man just looks around at everyone in confusion. The young man in the wheelchair clear up the confusion by saying "Koharu-san has a condition called * _Prosopagnosia_ * also called face blindness, which means he can't differentiate between faces" he stated confidently "To know which person is who, a face blind person usually use hair, clothes, mannerisms, voice or other such recognizable things, to know which person is who"

"H-how did you know?" Koharu asked, a little ashamed for his condition. "It was just a hunch, I understood fairly quickly that you didn't recognize the victim" the young man stated "My deduction got confirmed with the test I just did, thank you Sato-keiji" he said with a smile. "No problem" she said and fixed her appearance. Koharu instantly recognized her when she had fixed her appearance to normal. "It's you…?" he says, confusion in his eyes.

The young man continued "You and the victim were supposed to meet up at her place for a romantic dinner and chat but, when you came over, using the spare key, you attacked her while she was cooking because you didn't recognize her" his voice held a bit of sadness at the statement.

"You didn't recognize her because she had cut her hair shorter and bleached it, she had also used a different style of clothes since she wanted to impress you, evidenced by the receipt for a beauty parlour and brand name clothing store we found in her purse" he held up a plastic evidence bag with said receipts. "When she retaliated against your attack with her kitchen knife, you turned the situation around and killed her" he stated bitterly. "You then realized the mistake you made and started to clean up" He continues his elaborate deductions.

Koharu started to boil with rage as the young man continued to lay out more deductions and evidence against him. Spinning an invisible trap called justice and slowly ushered him towards it. When the trap finally snapped shut, he became like a cornered animal, he snaps and lashes out. Koharu takes the nearest long object he finds, which is a fire poker and rushes at the young man with a yell of "It wasn't, it isn't her!"

The officers cry out in warning and starts to take action, but the young one just remains calm in his wheelchair and counters the attack with the grace of a martial artist, makes him drop the poker and locks him in a hand hold. The officers, that had gotten stunned into silence by the amazing display, snaps out of it, rushes forward, takes hold of Koharu and hauls him to his feet.

When the handcuffs finally slaps onto the murderers wrists, the man confesses everything, confirms the young man's deductions and gets on his knees, crying as the he finally understands he killed his girlfriend by a fluke. Koharu gets led away by the police. The case now closed.

Later as everything gets wrapped up for departure, a portly man with a mustache wearing a brown trench coat walks up to the young man in wheelchair and pats him on the back and bellows.

"Great job as always Shinichi-kun, I don't know how you do it!" the young man cringes slightly from the hard pats, but laughs lightly and rubs his neck. "It was nothing, anyone could have figured it out, really" the portly man just shakes his head with a fond smile and says "You are always so modest, keep up the good work".

The young one just rubs his neck in proud embarrassment, then he remembers "oh right! Megure-keibu, I will fix the paperwork tomorrow. I need to get home before Kaito throws a fit and starts to search for me, you know how he is, if I'm not home by eleven or earlier he gets worried. It is getting quite late after all"

The inspector just laughs lightly and sends him on his way, clicking the elevator button for him "good night Shinichi-kun, have a safe trip home"

"Good night, you too Megure-keibu, when you get home, greet your wife for me" he gets into the elevator "Good night, Sato-keiji, Takagi-keiji" Shinichi says to the two officers coming their way, before the elevator doors shuts. He gets off at the bottom floor and gets himself out of the building. Then he starts wheeling along the road, a clear night sky showing the moon which is his company in the night while going the short distance home, to an apartment in Ekoda.

' _Now, you must be wondering, what has the modern-day Holmes, former High School detective of the east Kudo Shinichi done to get himself into a wheelchair'_

' _Well... that is, kind of a long story. I don't really know where to start, but we can take it from the beginning.'_

' _Well, It all started (as you know) on that day at Tropical Land, when I was young, overconfident and inexperienced. After a murder on the mystery coaster, I let my curiosity get the better of me. This curiosity led me to following the suspicious men in black trench coats and get myself poisoned and got turned into a six year old child in the process._

_Yeah, real genius there. I ran for help, and got my neighbour Agasa to believe that I had gotten shrunk into a six year old, after that he let me into my house. Then Ran arrives and thus after getting confronted by my childhood best friend and high school love about my name, I hastily came up with the name Edogawa Conan. I then got roped into living with Ran by Agasa-hakase, his reasoning being Mouri is a detective, you will get better leads about the organization. That is how it all began, how it all started.'_

' _The experience of becoming a child again, was quite horrible at first, stuff you did on a daily basis became hard and tedious to do. Reaching things was a nightmare and you needed a stool or something to stand on for everything. But after getting accustomed to that new daily life of a six year old, it got easier to do things and it became less tedious. Of course some things were still annoying, because you knew that if you had been in your original body you would have been able to do it.'_

' _Now imagine, if physical limitations was a nightmare then being on a crime scene was hell. You got told off for a lot of things like: don't touch that, don't go there, you are in the way brat, don't look at this, you shouldn't be here, that is dangerous and the like etc etc. It was very annoying but it was very self exploratory to get to know these frustrations of not being listened to, to get dismissed as a stupid or insignificant child just because you were in fact a child. To not be able to get the 'adults' to listen or to understand that your opinions and ideas matters as much as the next person.'_

' _If those frustrations weren't the worst part, then having to watch the entire police force looking along the wrong path of evidence, while you are right there, not being able to tell them off, for fear of discovery, was even more so. And then, you pretty much always had to either trick them into figuring it out for themselves or Knock Mouri-Otchan out to create Nemuri-no-Kogoro and solve the case for them.'_

' _Now being in a child's body, while facing a big criminal organization is bound to get you paranoid on a lot of levels. Even if you would have been in an adult body in this situation, it wouldn't have been any different. You still start to get a lot of these fears coiling around inside you like a snake in your everyday life and in your nightmares.'_

' _Fears like, you could never know if you would live to see another day. You walked around, living with the fear of discovery by the Black Organization, fearing for your friends and families lives everyday. Then you also started fearing, that they could be behind every corner, in every ally you walked by, in every nook and cranny, anywhere you were. Knowing they could have eyes and ears everywhere, was not helping your case.'_

' _But like everything, there were good parts as well. As I said before experiencing a second childhood was, quite the exploration of oneself, so it was both a good and a bad thing. But getting to know yourself better wasn't the best part of the whole experience, the best part was that if I hadn't gone through it, I would not have met All these new friends and different people.'_

' _If I had not went through the Conan situation, I wouldn't have met and made friends with people like, Jodie-sensei and the FBI, Hattori and Kazuha, the Shonen tantei-dan, Mitsuhiko, Genta,Ayumi and Haibara Ai, Sera and many more. But most of all I wouldn't have met_ _ **Him**_ _.'_

' _Now, who am I talking about? I am talking about the modern-day Lupin, the moonlight magician Kaitou KID of course. I as Shinichi wasn't very interested in thieves, so if Conan hadn't happened I would never have befriended the amazing moonlight thief.'_

' _I got a feeling fairly early on, that something was up at his heists, especially after that one heist, when I kept someone from sniping the stupid thief'_

The full moon was high in the sky shining down with it's luminous light on the rooftops. A white clad thief stood in the middle of the roof looking through tonight's target. The rooftop door opens on silent hinges and let's a small child through.

The thief sighs disappointedly and lowers his arm.

The child approaches him, his steps barely noticeable in the night. "Not what you were looking for KID-san?" the child inquiries. The thief startles slightly, but turns around to greet his small critic "Why hello Tantei-kun~" he purrs out playfully "How is my smallest hunter this wonderful night?"

Conan just snorts at him "I'm just fine, just that I had to run up 20 flights of stairs and avoid your traps at the same time, stupid thief"

The thief in question theatrically puts his hand to his heart and wails "You wound me Tantei! I did it for you, I want you to become even better at chasing me-"

"You just desperately want me to someday come up here pink, feathery and glittery. Too bad, I always see your traps coming" the child cut him off irritably.

The thief amused says "I will just have to try harder then, I really want to see you in a pink tuu-tuu" his grin widening. The child just scowls at him "Oh really" then he smirks something wicked "you know, my mom taught me how to do some really evil prank-"

He cuts off abruptly when he sees a glint farther away from them, eyes widening at the realization of what it means. He quickly launches at the thief "KID! Move!" He yells. The thief, always quick on his feet, hoists the child with him out of the way of an incoming bullet. Conan grasps his belt and launches a big soccer ball for cover. The thief gets a steely look in his eyes and runs quickly towards the rooftop exit. The ball pops behind them, the bullet nearly hits the thief's shoulder. As they are panting inside the stairway from the adrenaline, Conan gets an equally steely look in his eyes and glared at the thief. "we need to talk" he says with no argument in his tone.

' _After that, I confronted him about his predicament with shady people, and he reluctantly confessed about a black organization being after his life. I soon connected the dots from his guys in trench coats to my shady people and I got KID to agree on joining forces to take down the organization. We soon discovered, that the people who had killed his predecessor was a branch of the black org. So with help of KID, and then getting the secret police, FBI and other secret services on board, we then devised plans to take them down, easier said than done.'_

' _I kept telling the secret police, FBI and so forth, that I had an anonymous source of information, I kept KID unmentioned as a means to protect him from law enforcement and the black organization alike. So he was my secret that I refused to tell anyone about'_

' _Under the planning period me and KID met a lot to scheme and plan for every possibility we could conjure up. The more we met up thought, the more we started to just relax in each other's company and sometimes instead of planning we just met up for the hell of it, as friends. A few months into this 'Just hanging out', was when I realized I was starting to have feelings for the thief, dear lord.'_

' _I was so confused, I had been pining after Ran for so long that I didn't know what to do with these feelings. I had been in love with Ran for as long as I could remember and then all of a sudden you realize you are falling hard, for a thief of all things, now that could only spell trouble._

' _But then one night when I was alone in the library, I started really thinking about my feelings for Ran and the thief. I soon realised my feelings for Ran, had with the Conan predicament started turning into sisterly, family love at one point. I felt pretty bad about having started to lead Ran on because I hadn't realised sooner. Ran really didn't deserve this, I was a total jerk. Then I started thinking of my feelings for the thief…. Yeah no comment, I had become red in the face and shoved the thoughts away, these feelings were such a pain to deal with'_

' _So I did the only thing I could think of, deny, deny, deny it's existence. Yeah not the smartest decision in my life, I soon started meeting the thief a little less for the fun of it and said I wanted to plan to get this over with as fast as possible. If the thief noticed he didn't say anything.'_

' _Then Haibara at one point in time had understood what I was doing, then one day she had gotten tired of my dancing around my feelings and decided to corner me about it. We were both sitting in the professor's living room when the she-devil brought it up'_

Haibara sat on the living room couch opposite Conan with a sort of fashion magazine and was drinking herbal tea. While Conan sat on the other couch opposite her, nursing a cup of coffee and took a bliss filled sip when she suddenly spoke up. "Kudo-kun, why are you just moping around instead of just telling the damn thief about your feelings for him?" she asked him with a straight face without putting down the magazine from her face.

All you heard for a few minutes after that, was some sputtering and coughing. When Conan had finally regained his breathing he said expatriated "I'm not in love with him!"

Haibara just hummed "could have fooled me" she smirked behind the magazine. Conan just sighed "I said I'm not" he whined a little, then he put down his cup on the table and flopped sideways onto the couch, slinging an arm across his slightly pink face.

"Kudo-kun, running away from and denying your feelings won't make it better, it will just make it harder for you" she told him, still with the magazine in front of her.

He let out a slow breath through his nose and peaked out from under his arm at her "let's say I do like him" Haibara lifted an eyebrow at that from behind her magazine "if so, and I'm not saying it is, it's not like I can tell him how I feel" he stated with a small flailing hand movement.

Haibara finally laid down the magazine and looked at him, with her bored 'are you stupid' face "Okay let's pretend" she said in her usual bored tone "if so, why not?" she prompted him.

He hastily sat up and started argumenting "Haibara" he didn't whine okay "For starters he is a guy, he is also a thief on the opposite side of the law" Haibara just lifted an eyebrow at him "and he is annoying, obnoxious and an overconfident jerk. And he is devilishly smart and a jackass and he has well defined muscles"

Haibara started smirking at this point "He is kind of handsome and is Invigoratingly good at disguises" his voice started turning a bit dreamy "He have nice hands with long fingers, he is a descent magician, is good at a lot of things, he has the luck of the devil and has an imaginative mind with a skill set to go with it. And he has beautiful indigo-violet eyes, a nice smile and-"

Conan stopped suddenly noticing Haibara smirking at him "what" he asked with a incredulous tone and a glare. Haibara just kept smirking and put up the magazine in front of her again "yeah, definitely not in love with him, 'nice smile', 'beautiful indigo eyes', really?"

Conan squeaked a little "H-how did you know in the first place!" He whined childishly "…no never mind I don't want to know" he put his fore finger and thumb up to his nose bridge and started rubbing away the coming headache.

Haibara hummed in a cheeky tone and said "Call it a woman's intuition, that and you're incredibly easy to read when you're a love sick puppy" Conan just flopped his face into the couch cushions and didn't speak to her for the rest of the day.

' _Needless to say I was mortified, am I really that easy to read? Anyway, so okay, I was moping, but seriously I didn't know what to do with these feelings and It didn't exactly help when I was planning with the thief.'_

' _One day we were sitting and planning in the Kudo manors library, me sitting with papers all over my father's desk and scribbling away. The thief was in casual clothes, a black cap and his monocle sitting in one of the armchairs with a laptop on his knees. The thief decided to confront me about my strange behaviour'_

The thief put his laptop on the side table and stood up, walking towards the highly concentrated detective. The magician then poofed the papers Conan was holding away together with the pen. Conan squawked and looked accusingly at the thief. Said thief started to lean on the side of the desk with his arms crossed, and said "Tantei-kun, I have noticed you have been a bit moody the last couple of weeks, you don't want to just hang out anymore and I'm starting to worry. Is something wrong? Or is there another reason?" the magician looked at the boy who only turned his gaze down to the table and kept quiet.

The thief sighed "Tantei-kun, seriously if there is something bothering you, we have to talk about it. I don't want our friendship to get messed up over this" Conan stared resolutely at the wooden patterns on the desk as he said softly "It's nothing, nothing specific is wrong, the problem lies with me, it's nothing you need to worry about, really" he slumped slightly and put his head and arms on the desk, sighing a little.

The thief went and took an armchair and slid into it beside the desk and then mimicked the detective with his arms on the surface, leaning in, and put his head on his arms. "Is this about Mouri-san?" The magician then asked after a while in a soft tone.

Conan took a few seconds and then answered "It's not that, well it's part of it but not the whole thing so to speak" in an equally soft tone of voice.

The library clock ticked in the background for awhile and then the thief let out a small breath "You want to talk about it?"

To his surprise Conan snorted slightly in humor but didn't say anything. The thief, bewildered raised his head and an eyebrow "what, you don't think I will be a good listener? I will have you know I'm a great relationship counsellor, so don't worry your pretty little head about that and talk to this phantom thief about your 'little' problem" he said with a flourish and emphasis on the little part.

Conan laughed humorlessly and was getting a little annoyed "It's nothing I can talk to you about anyway" he said in an amused and annoyed tone, then he added in a whisper "and besides you're part of the problem" the thief shouldn't have heard the very soft spoken words, but unfortunately he did.

"So I am the problem then" the magician said a little hurt, standing up. "Is it because I am a thief? Is it because it's not fun hanging around me?" Connan whipped his gaze up to the thief "no, no' no that's not it!" he said a little panicked "Then are you ashamed of something? Something I have accidentally seen or heard?" He said in a raising voice.

"No! IT'S nothing like that, you haven't done anything!" his voice also rising in volume.

"Then what is it!, if it's not Mouri-san and you're saying it's not me, than what has happened?!" the magician thief bellowed out. Conan slammed his hands at the desk and stood on his chair, then almost screamed "It's my own damn problem!"

The thief glowered slightly and said in a little less of a voluminous voice "Let me help you!" Conan once again slammed his hands on the desk making some papers fly and screamed "You can't help me with it! because the problem is I'm In Love with YOU!"

When Conan's brain caught up with what had just flown out of his mouth, he froze. The thief just stared at him equally as frozen, then the detective put his hands to his mouth and became beet red and slowly slid down his desk chair and went under the desk. The thief unfroze, blushing slightly and slowly made his way around the desk and rolled the chair out of the way.

Crouching, he saw Conan sitting in the corner of the small space with his head on his knees and small arms around his legs. His red ears showing his embarrassment to the thief, the magician quietly crawled inside the tiny space sat down opposite him as best he could and mimicked the detective once again. Looking up, the thief hesitantly put a hand on the not child's knee, he flinched a little but didn't pull away.

They sat there for awhile in silence, only hearing the ticking of the clock, until the thief said very softly "Is… is it true?" the child peeked at him still slightly red. "Is it true, you em… like me?" the thief said blushing. The not-child nodded a slight nod and hid his face in his knees again.

Silence reigned once again for awhile til the thief spoke "how long have you… liked me and, why haven't you said anything?" after a few heartbeats he child mumbled in a tiny voice "I have liked you for a few months now, but I realised it a month or so ago myself… I didn't want to destroy our friendship for something like this" he looked up a tiny bit, you could see a small amount of tears in his eyes "Besides, I'm like this, so it doesn't matter"

The thief was quiet for awhile, but then he started blushing madly and said " Well…. I have actually liked you for quite awhile too, but um… god! I feel like a pedophile right now" he whined the last part. Shinichi as Conan, looked up at him with a scowl and hurt in his azure eyes. KID made a impatient sound "Shinichi~" he whined again "hear me out here!" Shinichi's heart sped up at his name. "It's not like I don't know you are an eighteen year old, but seriously think about it, I feel so weird being attracted to a eight year old, well technically it's just your mind I'm attracted to at the moment" Shinichi just blinked at him "But gosh if Tsukuyomi knows, I melt like butter when I see pictures of you at sixteen, I can't even imagine how hot you would look at your rightful age at eighteen" he said with a red face.

The detective blushed until he became red as a tomato and put his hands in his face and inhaled a shaky breath. He let the breath out slowly, just as shaky and peeked out at the thief through his fingers. The magician thief had a dopey smile on his red face, looking at him with fond indigo eyes, Conan let out a small happy laugh that sounded like a sob. KID got a bit worried and leaned into the not-child's personal space, suddenly he got an arm full of sobbing detective. The thief panicked slightly until he realised the not-child wasn't crying of sadness but rather of happiness and relief, he hugged him back in earnest.

' _The planning sessions became much more relaxed after that and we started to hang out as friends again. Sure it was a tiny bit embarrassing to know how the other felt, but at least we were honest about it in the end.'_

**_TBC._ **

**Author's Note:**

> A/N:
> 
> *Prosopagnosia* as mentioned in the story, commonly called face blindness. If I understood correctly, it's a condition were a part of the brain is damaged somehow which makes the person unable to register faces and has to rely on hairstyle, color, clothes, habits, mannerisms etc. to know a person.
> 
> I got the idea for the case (terrible case, many plot holes, sorry xD) involving face blindness from a detective series called Perception. It was quite a while ago I saw it but yeah, I hope it wasn't too similar. xD
> 
> This is my first time writing a fanfiction and I hope you enjoyed it, I am not a native English speaker so the grammar and spelling may be bad. Sorry about that, be patient with me xD
> 
> Was not quite sure about the rating, so please tell if I should change it, Thanks.
> 
> I am a person who juggle a lot of ideas and interests at the same time as work or school, so the story will probably update pretty irregularly, sorry about that. =v='
> 
> Please Read and review
> 
> /Wickfur OwO


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